


always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

by mysilenceknot



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Live Action TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28685538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysilenceknot/pseuds/mysilenceknot
Summary: And then, breaking through the pounding in his head he hears what would be the last words out of that wretched man’s lips.“I love you.”
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't expect to get back into Death Note this late in the game but here we are. I wholeheartedly recommend the live action drama and this is based around L's death scene in the show.  
> Title comes from [Cruel Summer](youtube.com/watch?v=ic8j13piAhQ) by Taylor Swift.

He doesn’t feel the pain.

When he and L had wrestled for the notebook, Light’s body had hit plenty of surfaces hard - the floor, the walls, the bony knuckles attached to his enemy - but he doesn’t feel a single blow. All he feels is adrenaline. After all these months he finally had the name that would end it all. Part of him is almost sad that would end like this, but isn’t it fitting? In the dark, the two of them alone fighting to the death, all pretenses gone?

He doesn’t feel the pain because his soul is on fire with delight as he scribbles the characters and lets the power within them bleed across the page. 

L Lawliet.

Frantically, Light pulls up his watch to see the remaining seconds of L’s life tick by.

10\. 20. 25…

And then, breaking through the pounding in his head he hears what would be the last words out of that wretched man’s lips.

“I love you.”

He doesn’t feel the pain but as the second hand meets the seven he feels his stomach drop. The words are soft yet laced with bitterness. Considering they come from a man who was deliberate and meticulous with his word choice, the phrase seems oddly pointless. Love? Love could not stop a heart from beating no more. The second hand hits the eight and the confession, now mingled with the glee filling his mind, seems especially worthless. _The love of a dead man doesn’t concern me_ , Light thinks, turning sharply to watch L take his final breaths.

Except that doesn’t happen.

L staggers to his feet, laughing, and all Light’s delight turns to icy dread.

He has the name. He has L Lawliet in front of him and he’d scribbled down L's name and despite all that, he is caught.

He lost.

He doesn’t feel the pain - instead he feels rage and fear. The tiny flicker of a conscience that he’s never been able to fully stamp out feels a glimmer of relief because this game is finally over. But it’s over because he lost. He is going to die.

“I meant it, you know,” L says quietly. Light doesn’t move, his thoughts threatening to overwhelm him. This twisted game of cat-and-mouse truly is the only way they could have met. They wouldn’t have been able to get close if they weren’t on opposing sides, but now the game is over and he feels hollow.

“I meant it,” L repeats. Light can hear the footsteps echoing from another part of the building. The task force, he assumes.

“For whatever it’s worth, I love you.” Light turns to match L’s eyes. They’re wistful. “Isn’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

Before Light can gather his thoughts enough to respond, L walks towards the five task force members, holding the notebook carefully between two fingers.

And then --

He doesn’t feel the pain and he doesn’t feel the fear because L Lawliet has just died in front of him. He doesn’t know how this has happened. When he screams it’s partially to keep from laughing at this sharp turn of events. He cries as he holds L’s body, rocking him gently while lying to everyone around them. The tears are real, at least - tears of relief, tears of regret. He’s relieved that L died without exposing him to his father. He’s regretful that he didn’t ever stop to consider that the mix of emotions he felt whenever he thought about the rivals could be anything resembling what people called love until this moment. Could Kira love? He loved justice and control and, technically, that’s what L stood for. 

Light’s lips brush against L’s clammy forehead. The man who loved him despite knowing who he was lay in his arms and as the task force talks around him, he knows deep down that he loved L too.

_I love you,_ he says in his head, _and it's by far the worst thing I’ve ever done._

He feels the pain.


End file.
